Years before I dropped the “Lez Bomb” on those closest to me, I had a secret girlfriend. Whenever I invited her to a family get-together, it was always as my “best friend.” She fit right in and was completely accepted by my family and friends. I invited her to my birthday celebrations, family barbeques, and small parties. However, I always invited at least one additional friend to join us for those occasions as well. I was honestly always so worried about what everyone would think if I only invited this one particular friend to every event and never invited anyone else. I thought it would take the attention off of her and would leave even less room for any speculation about what role she really played in my life. Pathetic, I know.

I was also very conscious about not inviting her over on any holidays. Holiday celebrations in my family usually consisted of my immediate family members, close relatives, and any significant others that one of us was dating. Everyone was welcome, but it wasn’t very common to have a random friend drop by to spend a holiday with us rather than their own family. Even though we had wanted to spend holidays together, my girlfriend and I just agreed that it was best that we didn’t make a big deal about it and celebrated separately. One Easter, however, she drove an hour and a half just to surprise me with an Easter basket and take a ten-minute ride around my neighborhood together as I briefly snuck away from my family. Aside from that, we never spent one holiday together in the many years we dated.

Now that I’m married, I can’t imagine ever spending a holiday apart from my wife. When we were first dating, we both made the effort to always spend at least some time together on every holiday. Whether it was by car or train, we both had to sacrifice time with our own families to spend time with each other and one another’s family. We never missed a holiday. And now that we’re married and our immediate families live about seventy-five miles from one another, we still do our best to share our time and celebrate with both of our families for every possible holiday. It’s no secret that family means the world to both of us and being able to share every event, occasion, celebration, and holiday together is absolutely amazing.