In some ways, my mom has been more comfortable with my gayness than I have. I never had to have a real coming out conversation with her. Basically, one day I brought a girl home and that was it, full acceptance. This is not the same story for so many other people.

My mom has said to me that given the choice, she wouldn’t want me to be gay. Not because she doesn’t accept me or love me or want me to be happy or any of that. She just said that she worries about how other people in the world will treat me. She can’t always be there to protect me and there are some nasty and cruel people out there.

For the most part, I haven’t experienced too much intolerance fortunately. I have traveled to 47 of the 50 states and haven’t had an issue. There are fears when traveling though because of things you hear or things you read about in different parts of the country. LGBTQ people aren’t as widely accepted in some of the more conservative areas of the country, but I definitely think that’s changing.

Views don’t just change on their own. There has to be influence and conversation and enlightenment. That’s where people like Joe Bell come in. Joe Bell was spreading his message of hope and tolerance across the US because he suffered the tragic loss of his own gay son. Jadin Bell committed suicide because of the insufferable torment he endured by his classmates and community solely because he was gay and different and stood out.

In Joe’s mind, he needed to honor his son and hopefully prevent another tragedy like the one he suffered. “Be the change…” Joe Bell was trying to be the change in the world by talking to anyone that would listen about tolerance and acceptance and ultimately love. While I did not know Joe or Jadin Bell, I certainly think it’s possible Joe had to reflect on his own shortcomings as a man and as a father and how that could have impacted his son’s decisions.

We don’t always have to learn through our own mistakes. It is possible to learn from the stories of others alone. Love your kids no matter who they are. Love your parents and your siblings and your neighbors. Loving someone doesn’t always mean agreeing with them and I think that’s the part of love we most often overlook.

Just be nice, it’s the least we can do.